God Called Me While I Was Still Bleeding: The Struggle of Leading Through Trauma

For many women in ministry, the calling didn’t show up during a peaceful season. It came in the middle of real pain — during the fallout from divorce, the grief of losing someone they loved, or while quietly trying to recover from trauma they never felt safe enough to talk about.

Some were leading Bible studies while battling anxiety.

Some were preaching every week while barely keeping their marriage together.

Some were mentoring others while still struggling to forgive what happened to them years ago.

They didn’t feel healed. They didn’t feel ready. But they said yes anyway — not because they had it all figured out, but because they loved God and believed their story might help someone else keep going.

During National Trauma Awareness Month, we’re taking a closer look at what it really means to lead while you’re still healing. Because the truth is — a lot of women are quietly bleeding behind the scenes of their own ministries. And we can’t afford to ignore the emotional toll that comes with it.

The Hidden Pain Behind Her Yes

Ministry often begins with a testimony. But for many women, that testimony is laced with trauma — the kind that lingers in the body long after the event is over.

Some were sexually assaulted before they ever learned what it meant to be safe.
Some watched loved ones die and still had to hold a mic the next morning.
Some were emotionally abandoned, spiritually abused, or physically harmed by the very people who should’ve protected them.
Some never knew rest because performance was survival.

And somehow, in the middle of that chaos, God called them.

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart…” – Jeremiah 1:5

He didn’t wait until they were healed, confident, or whole. He met them right in the wreckage and whispered, “You are mine.”

But just because He called them doesn’t mean the trauma magically disappeared.

When Trauma Births a Calling

Trauma isn’t holy — but God is a master at redeeming it.

For many women, trauma cracked their world wide open… and ministry flowed out. It wasn’t ambition. It was survival. The altar became the only safe place. The platform became a way to protect others from going through the same pain. Purpose grew out of ashes.

That’s not to say trauma was “meant to happen.” But it is to say — God wastes nothing.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” – Romans 8:28

The key is this: trauma may have introduced you to ministry, but it should never be your only fuel.

Healing While You Lead

Too many women are told to “just keep serving” or “stay strong for the people” — as if their own healing isn’t sacred. But the truth is this: God is not asking you to lead at the expense of your soul. Healing isn’t a detour from your ministry — it’s part of it.

Here are some ways to pursue healing without stepping away from your call:

1. Normalize Needing Help

You don’t have to be the strongest one in every room. In fact, believing that you must “hold it all together” is often a result of trauma itself. Many women in ministry have been conditioned to equate asking for help with weakness or failure — but that’s a lie. Seeking help is a courageous act of leadership. Whether it’s through Christian counseling, trauma-informed coaching, or confiding in a trusted mentor, opening up is the first step toward healing. God uses people — not just pulpits — to bring breakthrough. You're not failing by reaching out. You're honoring the God who says, “It’s not good for man to be alone.”

2. Find Safe Spaces

Not everyone can handle your truth — and that’s okay. The trauma you carry needs more than a quick prayer or a shallow “You’ll be fine.” It needs safety, compassion, and confidentiality. A safe space is one where you’re not expected to perform, explain, or shrink. It’s a space where your story is honored, your silence isn’t judged, and your tears are welcome. 

For women in leadership, finding that space can be hard — especially when you're seen as the strong one. But healing accelerates when you're no longer in hiding. Seek out support groups, retreats, or one-on-one environments that protect your vulnerability. Jesus surrounded Himself with trusted circles — and so should you.

3. Don’t Bypass the Body

Trauma doesn’t just affect your mind — it lives in your body. If you’ve experienced deep pain, especially chronic or developmental trauma, your nervous system might still be in “survival mode.” This can show up as anxiety, fatigue, numbness, irritability, or constant hyper-alertness — even when things seem calm. 

As a ministry leader, it’s easy to stay stuck in your head or spirit and forget to tend to your body. But healing happens when all parts of you are cared for. Gentle movement (like walking or stretching), breathwork, soaking worship, and rest are holy acts. They're not indulgent — they’re essential. The same God who anointed your voice also created your body. Give it permission to exhale.

4. Set New Boundaries

Healing often begins the moment you decide to stop being everything for everyone. If trauma taught you that your worth was tied to how much you did for others, then ministry can become a trap for overgiving. Setting boundaries doesn’t make you selfish — it makes you wise. Jesus Himself withdrew from the crowds, even when there were more people to heal. He modeled rest, solitude, and discernment. 

Ask yourself: Where have I been saying “yes” out of fear, guilt, or obligation? What would it look like to reclaim my “no” without apology? Boundaries aren’t walls — they’re doors that protect your peace. And peace is a holy inheritance.

5. Talk to God Honestly

God doesn’t want your perfect prayers — He wants your real ones. When you’ve been traumatized, it can feel safer to perform for God than to reveal the mess inside. But intimacy with God begins where performance ends. Tell Him the truth: “I’m angry.” “I’m tired.” “I don’t trust You right now.” “I feel broken.” Scripture is full of raw prayers like these — from David, Job, Jeremiah, and even Jesus in Gethsemane. 

God isn’t offended by your honesty; He’s drawn to it. He’s not looking for leaders who always get it right. He’s looking for daughters who will let Him into their darkness. That’s where healing begins — in the sacred space where nothing is hidden.

You’re Not Less Anointed Because You’re Still Healing

Let’s silence the lie that says you have to be perfectly healed to be powerfully used. Jesus chose the woman at the well — a broken woman with a checkered past — to become one of the first evangelists. He didn’t wait until she had it all together.

God’s glory is not reserved for the flawless. It’s revealed in the faithful — the ones who say yes in the middle of their struggle, knowing that healing is a journey, not a prerequisite.

So Why Does She Keep Leading?

Because God still called her.

Because her love for people is real.

Because her purpose won’t let her quit.

Because even when she doubts her own strength, she believes God is using her to set others free.

But here’s what we must remind her: God never asked you to bleed out for the Kingdom. He bled for you.

You don’t have to choose between your healing and your calling. You can have both.

Your Next Step Toward Healing

This month, don’t just survive another altar call. Step toward your own restoration.

✅ Book a free, confidential healing call with one of our trauma-informed Christian counselors: Click here to schedule your call →

🎓 Want more support? Join our upcoming free masterclass:
“Healing While Leading: How Women in Ministry Can Break Free from Hidden Trauma”
Reserve your seat here →